Hurt
by SNN
Summary: Tommy has a serious problem. Will Jude take him back? Jommy. Threeshot. Songfic.
1. Hurt

**A/N:** This is called "Hurt," and I wrote it a looooong time ago. It was up before I "deleted" my account and now it's back. Yippee xD

R&R-Enjoy-R&R-Enjoy-R&R  
Shannon

(Songs: "Hurt" by Johnny Cash (written by that guy from Nine Inch Nails, though), "Vindicated" by Dashboard Confessional, and "So Far Away" by Staind)

* * *

**Hurt**

_I hurt myself today  
to see if I still feel_

He wondered if things would ever be the same. He'd ruined it all. He'd finally met the one and screwed it all up.

_I focus on the pain  
the only thing that's real_

She'd trusted him to be true. He was her first. She thought this time would be better than the last. She was of legal age. She was already mature enough for him. He just hadn't grown up.

_The needle tears a hole  
the old familiar sting  
try to kill it all away  
but I remember everything  
what have I become?  
my sweetest friend  
everyone I know  
goes away in the end  
and you could have it all  
my empire of dirt_

And that's just what he had. An empire of dirt. He _knew_ he had it all when he was with her. He also knew he was, and forever will be, nothing without her. One mistake was all it took. No, not one, but many. The first time he was drunk, and stupid. She'd forgiven him, because she thought it was her fault he'd hit her. She'd made him mad while he was drunk.

_I will let you down  
I will make you hurt_

This had happened only once, but it was soon to get worse. The next was much worse. Not only did it leave a mark the size of his fist, but, then he began to lose her trust. "No wonder", he thought. He said he'd been drunk, he wasn't. He had been out with the wrong crowd lately, and they were 'investing' into some new things.

_I wear this crown of thorns  
upon my liar's chair_

Then, it became a regular thing. He'd come home, angry. She would accidentally say something wrong, and then she would cringe. For she knew what was coming.

_full of broken thoughts  
I cannot repair_

He knew nothing would fix all the damage he'd done. At the studio, people started to become suspicious. She would take up for him and say that she had tripped, fell, hit her head out of frustration on the wall, anything to distract them from their 'in the ballpark' questioning.

_beneath the stains of time  
the feelings disappear_

He knew none other, when he was 'in a fit'. As Jude would call it. She just loved him so much. "Love is blind", she would say to herself, every night, to convince herself to crawl into bed with him, always an hour after he was asleep.

_you are someone else  
I am still right here_

And she was. Every second of every day, she was there. She loved him, and she knew deep down he still loved her. She could see it in his eyes, even when he was in a rage, that's why she always forgave him.

_what have I become?  
my sweetest friend_

He knew she'd always forgive him. That is the reason he kept doing it.

_everyone I know  
goes away in the end_

His best friend isn't there anymore. She ran off with him when he crossed the line. He was turned in.

_and you could have it all  
my empire of dirt_

He had seen her with him. Talking, laughing. He had burst through the door, drunk as always. Her eyes grew wide with fear. Shouting "It's not what you think! We were just talking! He wanted to talk to you!"

_I will let you down  
I will make you hurt_

They had tried to console him. Get him to calm down. But it was in vain. He simply went to the side of the door, got the shotgun, and aimed. They'd burst out of the door, got in the car, and sped away.

_if I could start again  
a million miles away_

He promised himself after that, through a killer hang-over, that he would stop. He would do his best get help. He would write a letter to her everyday, through the process of getting better. Maybe then, just maybe, she would come back. She said she would, but wouldn't live alone with him.

I simply to told her  
"_I would keep myself  
I would find a way_"


	2. Vindicated

**Vindicated**

_Hope dangles on a string  
Like slow spinning redemption_

And that's the way it was. His slow, spinning redemption. He would write letters of his alcoholic recovery.

_Winding in and winding out  
The shine of it has caught my eye_

_  
_Sometimes he would slip up, but who doesn't? And besides, he would say to himself, it's not like they have recordings sent to her of his recovery. Or so he would think.

_  
And roped me in  
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing  
I am captivated_

He has anger management classes every evening for THREE hours. Listening to everyone else's problems just doesn't quite fit his requirement for entertainment. "I will not slip up anymore." That's what he would say to himself, every 5 minutes. That's how bad it was. WAS. Then, it was just every day. Now, it's gotten to be once every month.

_I am Vindicated_

"I'm clean. And I have been for three months now.", he wrote to her about five months after he was admitted. She would write back, sending doubtful "Congratulations!" to him. After all, she did live with that for four years...

_I am selfish  
I am wrong_

She would receive his letters, and, being best friends with his best friend, show them to him. Except the parts that were personal to herself and Tommy.

_  
I am right  
I swear I'm right  
I swear I knew it all along_

It's been five months that he has been clean now. He has now written her 152 letters. One for each day. They slowly showed progress. His brain was functioning well again. He had become an alcoholic, eating away at his brain cells. Spelling, grammar, the old Tommy was coming back. Muscle and all.

_And I am flawed  
But I am cleaning up so well  
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself_

Then, one day, she came back. She visited once a month. On the second Sunday of every month. She still had her doubts. Then, once every week. She was starting to trust him again. She was starting to love him again. Then, now, it has become an every day basis. Starts out with a friendly hello, then a nice, warm, strong hug. And, once, then has now become a habit, a kiss on the cheek. He always smiles at this. They talk. Not about much, she plays him her latest song, he criticizes, corrects, and listens to the perfect outcome. He loves her, he never stopped. She loves him, she thinks she stopped, but she never really did. He had her heart, and he always will.

_  
So clear  
Like the diamond in your ring  
Cut to mirror your intentions  
Oversized and overwhelmed  
The shine of which has caught my eye  
And rendered me so isolated, so motivated  
I am certain now that_

Then,one day, they let him out to do something special. Something that they knew he had been wanting to do ever since he had officially recovered. He had been sent the divorce papers two days after he was admitted. Now, he was going to get her back. He went to 'Kay's', and found the most Jude-like ring that he had ever seen. Princess cut, not too showy, but not too small, diamond ring on a gold band. Inscribed on the inside, he put, _My Angel, I will forever love you._

_  
I am Vindicated  
I am selfish  
I am wrong  
I am right  
I swear I'm right  
I swear I knew it all along_

She paused, shocked, from the sudden proposal. She knew she loved him, yes. But, could she really marry him? What if he did it again? Would this become a cycle?

_And I am flawed  
But I am cleaning up so well  
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself_

He merely shushed her questioning mind by a passionate, much needed kiss. She deepened the kiss by leaning forward. Silently nodding her head while tears of joy fell down her face.

_So turn  
Up the corners of your lips  
Part them and feel my finger tips  
Trace the moment, fall forever_

He pulled away, noticing her tears. "Shh, shh. It's going to be OK.", he said, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. "I love you" he said. She looked into his eyes, kissing him deeply.

_  
Defense is paper thin  
Just one touch and I'd be in  
Too deep now to ever swim against the current_

"I never stopped" she said.They continued to kiss, that is, until visiting hours were over.

_So let me slip away _

_So let me slip away _

_So let me slip away _

She filled out the forms for his release. Turned around, startled, for he was standing behind her, with his million dollar smile.

_  
So let me slip against the current _

She kissed him, shushing his ego. For she knew he was about to say something along the lines of, "I knew you'd come around". He just excepted the kiss, enjoying every moment he had with her.

_  
So let me slip away _

_So let me slip away_

_So let me slip away _

_So let me slip away_

He returned to G-Major, walking in holding her hand. Her waltzing around, showing her ring off to everyone, with her full-of-love smile that made him melt every time he saw it. In fact, he melted every time he saw _her_. They congratulated them, knowing things would work out this time. The look in his eyes was filled with so much love, there was no room for alcoholic influence.

_  
I am Vindicated  
I am selfish  
I am wrong  
I am right  
I swear I'm right  
I swear I knew it all along_

Then, he finally saw his best friend. Well, 2nd best friend, seeing as she was his 1st. They did the most complicated hand shake, Jude wasn't even sure if _they_ knew what they were doing. Then, they did something only good friends would do, they hugged. Kwest knew what a hard journey it had been for him. For he had been through it himself. "It's good to see you" they said simultaneously.

_And I am flawed  
But I am cleaning up so well  
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself_

Things went on as they always did. Only better. They were madly in love, spending only at least 5 minutes away from each other. Valentine's Day was everyday. Kisses in-between recordings, flowers, the works. They were to be married in one month.

_  
Slight hope  
It dangles on a string  
Like slow spinning redemption..._


	3. So Far Away

**So Far Away**

_This is my life  
Its not what it was before_

That's right. It's not what it was before. He's much happier now. He has _her._ He has the one.

_  
All these feelings I've shared  
And these are my dreams  
That I'd never lived before  
Somebody shake me  
'Cause I  
I must be sleeping_

Things are perfect now for the two. No fights, no repressed feelings. There will always be passion. Nothing could rid them of these feelings. Not even time.

_Now that we're here,  
It's so far away  
All the struggle we thought was in vain_

And, yes, they thought it was in vain. But that was so long ago. They almost can't remember.

_  
All the mistakes,  
One life contained  
They all finally start to go away_

If you wanted to see drama, you're in the wrong place. They are happily married, and in love. Expecting.

_  
Now that we're here its so far away  
And I feel like I can face the day I can forgive  
And I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today_

Then again, they do have their little fuss-fights. But those are just her hormones. As I said, she is expecting.

_These are my words  
That I've never said before  
I think I'm doing okay  
And this is the smile  
That I've never shown before_

They have a two year old girl, whom they drop off in the day-care center they had installed in G-Major, or should I say, JT Records,when she was born.

_Somebody shake me 'cause I  
I must be sleeping_

There's not a sign of alcohol in his eyes. All that's in his eyes is her, his unborn child, and his little girl.

_  
Now that we're here,  
It's so far away  
All the struggle we thought was in vain  
All the mistakes,  
One life contained  
They all finally start to go away  
Now that we're here its so far away_

She is pampered, every day of her pregnancy. He is so good to her.That's why she cries at night.

_  
And I feel like I can face the day I can forgive  
And I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today_

"What's wrong?", he always asks her, concern filling his voice. She'll simply shake her head and reply that it's just her hormones acting up again.

_I'm so afraid of waking  
Please don't shake me  
Afraid of waking  
Please don't shake me_

Their life is a fairy tale to some. Hugs, kisses, two beautiful baby girls. To them, it's so much more than that. They've been through too much. It's a blessing.

_Now that we're here,  
It's so far away  
All the struggle we thought was in vain  
All the mistakes,_

They tell Chris and Kacy, their girls, of their story. They tell of Daddy's mistakes. When they do so, always a look of pain crosses his face. But only briefly. He then gets to tell of his recovery, how he wrote her so many letters, then when she visited. He said that was the best part of his recovery, the reward. Jude. His love.

_  
One life contained  
They all finally start to go away  
Now that we're here its so far away_

He says he is not proud of his past, but he's overjoyed with the outcome. He has a family, a record company that he owns with her, JT Records, and he says he feels free now. There's no pull to the bottle. He says it's the best feeling there ever was. Except for his love for his family.

_  
And I feel like I can face the day I can forgive  
And I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today..._


End file.
